Have you ever had your career growth confined by whether something is close enough to run home for if you are called? At the Higher Education Resource Services (HERS) 50th Anniversary Conference and Reunion at Bryn Mawr College, I found myself caught between engaging with the amazing speaker sessions and a worry 22 miles away: was my mother doing okay that day?
The balancing act of care and career is real for many leaders, me included. As a HERS alumna, I was thrilled to participate, even if only for a bit. With my home institution being a short commute away, it was feasible for me to attend some of the sessions while balancing work and family caregiving.
Among any given 100 professionals at the conference, I wondered if I could spot the 25 caregivers. We are a caring nation with nearly 63 million Americans (1 in 4 adults) providing care to a relative or friend experiencing illness, disability, or disease. Very often, this care is coupled with the realities of life – raising a family, paying bills, and developing a career. Commonly, but not exclusively, care is provided by women and persons of color who are doing it all.
Navigating career and care is challenging. Because of caregiving, my career path has more aptly resembled the jungle gym suggested by Sheryl Sandberg in her book, Lean In. Caregiving took center stage for me in college when my father was diagnosed with early-onset Lewy body disease, which extended for eight years into my early career. Though caring was a choice for me, it made navigating graduate school and full time work a different experience than most of my peers. This early experience drove my pursuit of advanced education in health policy to shape change through teaching, research, and advocacy.
Today, now older and hopefully wiser, and as a dean, I am again choosing to provide care knowing the strain I might experience. This time, it is as a daughter for my mother, who is in her late eighties with a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. My mother lives with me and my family, and we navigate a full care team so that nearly all her waking hours are covered since she cannot be alone. I, once again, sense my path is like many, especially women, but also miles removed.
I wondered if others at the historic campus were experiencing life, and the conference, in the same way I was. I not only juggled which emails, and even fires, to engage with or triage while at the conference, but also what care needs were covered for my mother each day and how she was doing given a recent hospitalization. My guess is that there were many of us there who care but this role was unseen.
Reflecting if I was among many then turned to even broader thinking about seeing caregivers at our institutions.
As a dean, I am growing more in-tune to caregiving because I care and have studied care for decades, but also because of hearing the experiences of others. A need for advice, mentoring, and camaraderie is generally – but not always – among women who are navigating high workloads and families. I am certain many leaders at the conference have heard similar experiences from faculty or staff at their institutions.
Though my caregiving life went under the radar at the conference, it is not entirely so elsewhere. Most people I work closely with know what I am navigating in addition to work demands because I share it with them and invite conversation. I know this is not always the case. Thus, in support of caregiving I have added the tagline I Care. to my email signature to signal this part of my identity and understanding of care. Maybe it can also be part of future conference badges as a sign of this common bond.
My hope for higher education is to enhance systems-level infrastructure for care and career opportunities. Examples include temporary flexible work schedules, availability and use of FMLA for extended qualifying care needs as feasible, supportive health and long-term care benefits for employees and families, and employee access to counseling services. The I Care. tagline is also a simple but powerful way to demonstrate support for self and others by acknowledging one’s caregiving role and / or understanding of care. Please join me in adding it to your tagline if you care; understand what it’s like to have that worry 22 miles away or know those who do.
Note: Perspectives shared represent the author and not her institution.